londonelicious: a london restaurant blog

Butler's Wharf Chophouse

Butler's Wharf Chophouse
36e Shad Thames
SE1 2YE
Tel: 020 7403 3403

Date of Last Visit: Wednesday, April 30th

The Victims: Aunt Ursula, Uncle George

The Damage: £50 or thereabouts

The Background: U&G have been to see the Tower of London. I've stayed home to catch up on life, but I find myself quickly at loose ends. They call me to punch in around noon and I express my boredom and offer to meet them for lunch.

They are so very cold and wet when I pick them up at the Starbucks on Shad Thames that traveling for food is not an option. We walk into the first restaurant available, which is the bar at The Butler's Wharf Chophouse.

I love having no expectations. I assume my food at the Chophouse will be good, but not great. I assume service will be okay. They exceed our expectations in so many ways as to have me repeatedly wonder out loud, "And why is it that I have never eaten here before?"

Firstly, the bread. There's bread with rosemary in it. It's amazingly good and zingy. When our bread bowl is empty, my uncle asks our server to just fill it up with the rosemary slices. Over on the sideboard, there's an oasis of bread. Hundreds, if not thousands of slices, ready to be served. We are enraptured. (OK, I am exaggerating on the thousands bit.)

Secondly, my carrot soup. It's the perfect remedy to such an awful, awful day. It is warm and comforting and salty and (perhaps not surprisingly) full of carrots. I am in love.

Thirdly, the fish and chips. This is my aunt and uncle's first and only experience with fish and chips in London. My uncle is a heavy duty recreational fisherman. We're talking tuna, here, mainly. Lots and lots of tuna. He used to have a license plate that said Blue Fin. (Don't worry, he understands more than most about what's happened to the world's stocks of blue fin tuna.) My point in telling you this is that he's caught the fish and cooked it himself (or skipped the cooking entirely and just eaten it directly). He knows fresh fish. And he is in love with his fish and chips. He notes that if the fish were any fresher, it would leap from the plate. Days later, and they are still talking about the fish and chips with that starry sort of wondrous look in their eyes.

I have the sea bream and it's nice and healthy. Then I go and ruin it all by eating all their leftovers.

The Verdict: I will be back, and I'll order my own fish and chips thank you.

Trendy: Village East

Village East
171-173 Bermondsey Street
SE1 3UW
Tel: 020 7357 6082

Date of Last Visit: 30 November 2007

The Victim: Andrew

The Damage: Unknown! Andrew paid.

The Background: Andrew suggested meeting up at Village East for dinner. I have never been to the end of Bermondsey High Street--I've stepped no farther than The Garrison--and I am intrigued. A look at the Village East Web site has me even more intrigued. This place looks cavernous...many different lounging areas. That's the floor plan from the Web site in the image. I love floorplans.

I arrive a little late and am relieved that I am no later than Andrew. I hate being late. (You probably know this already.) I get a glass of something white and French and settle in at the White Bar by the entrance. I can see that the Lounge Bar is packed to the gills. Andrew arrives shortly thereafter and does the gentlemanly thing and swaps out my card for his on the tab. Only thing is...when they give me back my card, it is SO NOT my card. Funny. I get a little worried about credit card fraud.

So let me tell you about the atmosphere at Village East. It isn't as big as the floor plan online makes it seem..it's cozier somehow. It's very Scandinavian warehouse. There is a lot of wood and interesting lights and Danish furniture. You might know that I am a sucker for Danish modern, so I like the look of Village East off the bat.

We are shown to our table in the back and I am surprised...the front of Village East is packed. Not so the back. It's maybe half-full, although later on in the evening, all the tables do perk up.

The Service and The Starters: Our server is great. She is knowledgeable and smart. It kinda seemed like she was in the wrong line of work, and I wondered if she had an aptitude for finance. That being said, I was trying to decide between the scallops & chorizo or the pumpkin soup and she suggested the pumpkin soup because it was so dreadful outside. The pumpkin soup--which seemed to have some spinach ravioli at the bottom of it?--was really nice, but it just wasn't for me. Oh, and it also arrived about three minutes after we ordered it, which was weird. I felt a little rushed. Our server apologized for that...it wasn't her fault, it was the kitchen's.

The Mains: For mains, I chose the sea bass and it came with asparagus (out of season, but nice just the same) and slices of orange and grapefruit. I accidentally ate a slice of grapefruit and it was so so so very bitter, it was awful. I choked up on it. Weirdly, I had some problems with the cutlery...I don't know if my plate was on an angle or if there was just no lip on the plate, but as I would cut into the dish, my fork would fly across the plate and land in my lap. This was weird.

The Dessert: Dessert was lemon tart and it was nice. But just nice. It came with a scoop of ice cream and the ice cream was MELTED which was odd. Why would they serve melted ice cream? That's no fun.

All this was washed down with a bottle of something white and French that I fear was dreadfully expensive. Hmmm.

The Verdict: The food was nice. Lots of people would like it. If I were going out with a group of single girlfriends, or maybe some NYers, I would consider taking them here. I probably wouldn't go out of my way though.

Wine, Oysters, Mussels, Cake. In that order.

UK food bloggers together are bad. Bad bad bad. I was out the other night with Howard and Ben and we were talking about a particular topic discussed during the evening, and how Howard had gotten a bit tired of that one particular topic.

And I said, "But don't you think people get tired of US? Talking about food constantly? I mean ALL THE TIME? Not wanting to go to Pizza Express (except for their delicious salad dressing) or Ask or All Bar One? Not wanting to go to a restaurant we've already been to when we can go someplace new and exciting? Rattling on and on about how bottled water is a rip off?" (OK, that bottled water thing is just me.)

But man if we're not fun. Case in point.  Fellow UK food blogger Jess from Ripe London invites me along to the London Food Fair. She's got some free tickets! Which is great. Because the food fare SUCKS. Big time. It's so lame. There's no one there. The only saving grace was Brown Brothers. Because we tasted a lot of wine there. But other than that, I'm glad we didn't pay to get in.

So we were going to assauge ourselves with a burrito over at Mucho Mas, but I convinced Jess to head over to the Hay's Galleria Oyster Fest instead. I love the Oyster Fest. This was my fourth year visiting. Good times.

So we had some oysters, which were lovely.

And then we had some mussels, which were just okay...although that didn't stop us!

And then we headed over to Borough in the hopes that Konditor and Cook might be open, but they weren't. (It was a Sunday.) So we went to Patisserie Lila instead.

1 Bedale Street
SE1 9AL
Tel: 020 7403 6304

Now, I like the way Patisserie Lila looks. It's cute. And I, as an American, love anything cute.

But you know what? I am annoyed almost immediately. Jess and I pick out some cake--coffee cake for me (which is not American-style coffee cake, but rather layer cake with coffee frosting in between the layers) and an apple tart for her (which looks amazing), and we're told to take a seat because they'll take our order. Fine. Fine. So we sit.

And then--here comes the annoying bit--our server tells us "You can only sit if you're having food."

She says this with no context whatsoever. It is a pronouncement.

Now really, it's fine because we are having food. But as I like to say, it's all in the delivery. Had she said, "Hi, how are you? Are you having cake? Or just coffee?" I would have been fine. (Although if she had made me leave because I wasn't having cake, I would have caused a scene. A big Long Island scene.)

As I also like to say...if the NPV of any transaction is greater than 0, you should do it. (And well, correct me if I'm wrong--but wouldn't forcing me to leave be a Negative NPV transaction? Throw people out of pastry shop. Make no money. People never come back because they are annoyed. So make less money off of said people than you would have if you had JUST LET THEM HAVE THEIR COFFEE.) So if Patisserie Lila has been throwing people out all this time because they're not having cake, well, they're idiots. Because they could be doing this so differently.

Example: For the people who don't order cake, tempt them! Have something sweet and inexpensive behind the counter. Bring it out. Have them try it. UPSELL them.
 
Another Example: Give them a little coupon for 50p off cake THE NEXT TIME they come in. This increases the chances that they will come back, and next time, they'll order food! MENTAL ACCOUNTING, folks. They will have the coupon for 50p, and will most likely spend more because in their head, they are saving money.

Another Example: Say, "Are you sure? We just had a great apple tart come out. It's really great." In other words, use your powers of persuasion, rather than being a complete and utter jackass.

Is it really that hard? No. It's not. But why why why do people treat customers like the plague? Like idiots? Like cheapskates? Like they might never be secret-shopped? Like no one will ever write a review about Patisserie Lila? Because now, I'm never going back. They are just too short-sighted for me. I don't care how cute they are or how delicious their apple tart is. (For the record, the coffee cake was just okay.) They are dead to me.

Modern (Insert Adjective Here):Magdalen

152 Tooley Street
London, SE1 2TU
Tel: 020 7403 1342

Date of Last Visit: Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Victims: Too many to mention.

The Damage: £82 each. With wine pairings.

The Background: Howard has organized lunch for us at Magdalen on Tooley Street. The restaurant no longer opens for Saturday lunch, but they've opened special just for us. I, for one, feel special. As I should. Because I am.

The Starter: Is artichoke soup, served with a lovely crostini with goat cheese. (I think.) The soup is perfect and creamy and smooth and simple.

The Salad: That is IT in the picture. It is full of duck and foie gras. It is one of my most wonderful things I've ever eaten. It is jam-packed with stuff.

The Main: Is a whole poached baby salmon, served family style. Baby salmon apparently goes by Sea Trout when it's just a baby. Who knew. (I think there's more to it than this...something about fins and spines. But that's enough for now.)

The Dessert:  A concoction of jelly with  a meringue top. Nice, but not my thing.

The Cheese: Pears and blue cheese. I don't normally like pears. (They bring back bad memories of my time in northern Germany with distant relatives when I felt obligated to finish my dessert of home-tinned pears...uggghhh...I am ill just thinking about it.) But these Magdalen pears, they are okay. Washing them down with port probably helps.

The Loos: Super clean!

The Verdict: I love it. And I'll take my parents here. And my co-workers. And my friends. Any myself.

Fish: Fish!

Cathedral Street
Borough Market
London SE1 9AL
Tel: 020 7407 3803

Date of Last Visit: Wednesday, February 7 2006

The Victims: Too many to mention.

The Damage: £33 each.

The Background: I was with a lot of people from China. We wanted to give them a little London experience, so I was thinking walk along the Southbank, cross the Millennium Bridge, around St. Paul's, etc. And I knew seafood would be a good option. And you know, I've been walking by Fish! for three years now so it was time to give it a shot.

The Approach: We arrive and are seated immediately. Then we are left to our own devices for a while. A long while. And then someone comes to take our drink orders, and he is just so not patient with us. He just sorta stands there, looking at us. Waiting for us.

The Service: We have to wave someone down to take our food order. And boy, does he want us to order one appetizer each. I knew that would be too much food for our group. I just wanted to share a few dishes. But he just would not leave it be. I was really annoyed. And he wanted to take both our appetizer and main order at the same time, and there I am trying to read out Pinyin translations of all the fish on the menu via my Blackberry (mucho thanks to two of my Chinese colleagues who have lived in the English speaking world for quite some time and know how to say Swordfish and Monkfish and John Dory in Chinese). I explained that this was going to take a while and can't he just bring the four appetizers for the 10 of us and come back later. I could tell he was annoyed, which just made me annoyed. I am normally not a harsh person but finally I practically screamed at him, "Just get us the appetizers and come back in 5 minutes."

The Appetizers: Underwhelming. A couple of calamari rings that had some stuff unattractively drizzled over them. The Thai fish cakes were okay, but seemed a little overcooked.

The Mains: Eh. My fish was nice--I went with the sea bass with the spicy salsa--but the bed of vegetables it was on was lame and cheap. Some carrots and some cabbage. No finesse. My Chinese colleagues loved everything, but it was also one of their first meals in the Western world, so they were (I might argue) still in honeymoon mode.

Back to The Service: Oh yeah, our server also wanted everyone to order a side. And the majority of sides were potatoes. And cold salad. I said to the guy, "Listen we don't need many sides. Just 2 chips, 2 mashed, and 2 mushy peas" and he kept trying to pretend that the servings were so miniscule that that would never be enough. 

The Verdict: Eh. Not going back. I want to eat. Not to be sold. If I wanted to be sold on something, I'd go look for a car. Shame the one dude had to ruin everything for me.

Meat: Roast

The Floral Hall
Borough Market
Stoney St
SE1 1TL

Date of Last Visit: Sunday, September 17

The Victims: Michael, Alan

The Damage: 30 quid more a head than I had been planning on spending

The Counterbalance: 3.0 miles!

The Background: Oh, I haven't seen Michael for ages. See, he went off to Australia for a few months to take care of some things. I missed him! Michael is one of the smartest, nicest guys I know. So I was very happy that he was back in town and wanted to met up for brunch.

He probably wasn't very happy that I made him leave Chiswick, but sucks to be him! He came all the way to my side of town, and we met up at Roast. Now I chose Roast because I had read that Wills and Kate had lunched at Roast; I am a huge dork. I should have known that princely food comes at a princely sum. But it was worth every penny! Uh, I mean pence.

The Food: Oh I get so ahead of myself! Michael and I started with the sardines and they were deliciously sardine-y, if there is such a thing. Who knew sardines could be so so good? Well, actually, I did know that. But Roast just reminded me of that ever the more so.

I went with the beef and yorkshire pud for my main. Alan had the same. I do not remember what Michael had, but I remember that the light through the windows was so bright and sun-shiney but not in an annoying way. We enjoyed a bottle of tempernillo and Michael had a little local wheat beer. We were happy. And I learned A LOT about Armenia. A country of 3 million people, but a diaspora of 11 million! And apparently all in California. Who knew?

And then the dessert came. I did not want dessert, but Michael ordered the ginger cake so Alan and I ordered the edelflower mousse and it was so poetically beautiful to eat I cannot even describe it. It was beyond good. It was lovely.

The Verdict: Go and go again. Bring your parents and your grandparents on the weekends, and your business guests during the week. But watch the wallet.

Shellfish: Wright Bros Oyster & Porter House

11 Stoney Street
SE1 9AD
Tel: 020 7403 9554

Date of Last Visit: Tuesday, June 6th

The Victim: Jose

The Damage: Approximately 78 quid total.

Jose says he's been asking me out to dinner for a year and I keep putting him off. I'm not entirely sure if this is correct, because who wouldn't want to have dinner with Jose? (Some might say he looks like Gabriel Byrne.) So after a leisurely flight over The Pond on Monday, I arrived at Wright Brothers jetlagged and cranky, but very happy to see Jose.

I wanted to go to Wright Bros because Kristi and I had wandered by the other weekend and everyone was drinking white wine and eating big platters of shellfish. It just looked very romantic and summery. Hence why I selected it--because the weather is FANTASTIC these days and well, Jose looks like Gabriel Byrne.

Service was really nice and friendly from the get-go. We started off with a bottle of champagne because apparently, Jose loves champagne. Now champagne on a Tuesday feels a little decadent, but that's not a bad thing.

We split some Fitzpatrick oysters which were nice, but nothing to right home about. Jose was very sweet and let me have two while he had one (albeit a large one). And then we both went with the sea bream for our mains.

I appreciate Tunisia. I say this because man, could they debone a fish. I want to learn how to debone a fish so expertly. Not so at Wright Bros. I consider myself pretty advanced now when it comes to eating fish with the bone still in it, but they hadn't even made the slit along the bottom. And the fish's eye was very cloudy--always a bad sign. That being said, it was still delicious. It must have been drenched in butter.

Jose likes his too. And if I'm not imagining things, he mentioned the prospect of us getting married eventually, which was interesting. Very complex.

Bathrooms--I used the handicapped one because I don't like stairs and the main WCs were down a spiral staircase. The Handicapped toilet was big, spacious, and clean. Always good.

The Verdict: Hmmm. I liked the atmosphere and the service more than the food. I would like to try this out on a weekend.

Affordable Thai: Thai Silk

103-105 Waterloo Road
SE1 8UL
Tel: 0207 633 9886

Date of Last Visit: Friday, April 21, 2006

The Victims: Al, Louise, and Al's brother Dave

The Damage: 18 quid each with drinks.

Al & Louise invited me out to the National Theatre to see a play they couldn't remember the name of, and they didn't know whether it would be good or bad. But we did know that we were in the 1st row; I have this problem were I can only pay attention at plays when I'm in the first few rows, so this was a good thing. (I think I read one too many Richard Scary books as a child, and am thus obsessed with analyzing the details, which you can't see from the balcony.)

Game for an adventure, I said yes to their kind invitation, and they suggested pre-theatre dinner at Thai Silk, right across from Waterloo station.

Thai Silk is so super-convenient to Waterloo that I almost didn't see it. It's seriously right across the street from the main Tube station exit.

The plan was to meet at 5:45; Thai Silk has a set menu for 7.95 per person from 5 to 7--minimum of two people. We went for that and got pretty much everything on the menu except for the pork.

Our starters were tasty because they were super deep-fried. As in fishcakes and spring rolls  and undefined deep-fried substance. Heart attack. But delicious nonetheless.

The mains were copious...there was monk fish in curry sauce, chicken in curry sauce, beef in some sort of sauce, and another type of beef. We had some yummy noodles and then the obligatory jasmine rice.

We were stupid and ordered wine by the glass instead of the bottle, so if you figure we each had two glasses of wine each, well, we wasted some money. This added much to our bill which should have otherwise been reasonable.

The Verdict: A good pre-National Theatre option. Not a destination, but a convenient and good-value choice. Watch your cholesterol and stay away from the wines by the glass.

Vino: Cantina Vinopolis

1 Bank End
SE1 9BU
Tel: 020 7940 8333

Date of Last Visit: Thursday, October 6, 2005

The Victims: Bastiaan, Renee, Jeff, Alex

The Damage: Unknown!

We were looking for someplace close to London Bridge, not too fancy, and not too casual. Cantina Vinopolis seemed to fit the bill, and I have walked by it a lot and wondered what it's all about.

We ambled over. After a confusing arrival (we were a little early, and they really, really, really wanted us to wait in the bar, and they wanted to take my laptop bag, which I refuse to part with), we were finally shown to our table. I liked the atmosphere, sort of. The wine stacks are great. Very atmospheric. Loved the magnums scattered about. But there was something vaguely high school cafeteria-esque to everything. I can't put my finger on it. But it was odd.

Service was lovely. I don't know what I expected, but our waiter was very kind and friendly. However, he lost total points when we went for the Lebanese wine and we waited and waited and waited and waited and it never arrived and we were 75% done with our entrees. Finally he just grabbed us something else from the bar. (The Lebanese was supposedly in the cellar somewhere.)

Food-wise, I went with the goat cheese terrine. I do love goat's cheese. It was truly delicious. I asked our waiter what he'd recommend as my main and he suggested the lamb which was served with mushy peas. I love mushy peas! Very tasty. The lamb was as well, but I found the sauce a bit overpowering.

Dessert: Cheese plate. Love cheese. By that point, however, my palette was completely dead. It was the sauce on the lamb. Too salty or something. And the red wine. You know when you see the cheese in front of you and it looks oh-so-delicious but you can't eat it because you had too much lamb shank and goat's cheese and pirriminna? (For the record, I had never had Pirriminna before and felt like a loser. But a quick Google of various spellings tells me I'm not the only one who hasn't had it. I promise to never use my new found knowledge to make it seem like I know so so much about wine. I'll only do that with Carmenere.) That's how I felt. So just a few cheese nibbles for me.

The Verdict: Hmmm. Nice atmosphere. Might go for a drink. Not sure about eating here again. Only if I can just have the goat cheese terrine!

Swedelicious: Glas

3 Park Street
SE1 9AB
Tel: 020 7357 6060

***PLEASE NOTE GLAS MOVED TO UPPER STREET IN ISLINGTON IN THE AUTUMN OF 2006***

Date of Last Visit: Tuesday, August 9, 2005

The Victims: Vincent, Vid, Nils

Vincent was in town from Chicago, so it was time to go out to dinner. And Nils is Swedish. And well, we all know a lot of Swedes. So Glas sounded intriguing. And it's located in my favorite place in the entire world--Borough Market.

Glas is pretty. It's very Swedish inside. Martha Stewart would love it. The walls were this pretty yellow, and the art and lighting were just right. There was no music though, which I found disconcerting, particularly because our booking was for 6:30 and you know no one here eats until 8.

We started with the "herring three ways," and although I am not a herring fan (early memories of dad and the jar of herring and mayo--uggghh), I was quite surprised by the tastiness of it all. Then we ordered some smoked salmon (which I was surprisingly not sick of after my sojurn in Alaska), and it was of very high quality. Scandelicious! (OK, I should note that Scandelicious--the Borough Market stall--is associated with Glas.)

Nils spoke Swedish with our waitress, but that didn't get us anywhere. She was a bit spacy and not very attentive. Also not so informative about the menu. But we managed.

The pigeon was good--the lentils or whatever they served with the pigeon were REALLY good. The salmon (yes, more salmon) was even more delicious. Then we had some sort of pork, which looked like very thick bacon, and that was very yummy. All this was washed down with some very nice Australian white. Those Swedes, they don't make wine. (Well, some Swede probably does. But I don't know him/her.)

For dessert, we went with chocolate fondue-like stuff and berries and cream. Good stuff. And the Swedish coffee was on-target. Love the Swedish coffee! Oh, and lest I forget the most important part of all--loved the BREAD BASKET. The Swedes are good at bread. The Germans are good at bread too, but the Swedes are really good at it. And I love that knäckebröd!!! Good, good, good.

The Verdict: I say go. But then I also say that they won't entirely knock your socks off. It's nice food, and a pretty environment. The seafood selection is great. The loos could use a little cleaning, but I've seen much worse in establishments of around the same caliber.